Month: September 2017

You know, there is power in honesty.  There is strength in being known as a truth-lover, and personal freedom.

It shouldn’t- in the perfect world- make any difference whether we understand God’s commands.  We should obey “all the way, right away, with a happy heart” because we love and trust God in the depths of our souls.  Right?

Well yes, there should be a foundation of love and trust to our obedience.  So when we run up against something that seems counterintuitive or obscure, we trust God’s wisdom above our own.

But I don’t think it’s an accident that we can frequently see the wisdom in God’s commands- I think it’s a gift.  And when it comes to honesty, it’s a good thing we have this gift because honestly, honesty is hard! You’d think it would be easy- but it’s not.

If ever you want evidence of our inherent deceptive human tendencies, just think about how early lying begins, and how frequently we either can or do lie.  Love for and commitment to the truth has to be taught; it just doesn’t come naturally to our defensive and proud selves.

Father, thank you for the gifts of observation that allow us to see the wisdom of your commands.  I pray we would come to love truthfulness and hate deceit; that we would honor and respect each other enough to be straightforward and sincere. Give us the courage to face ourselves with integrity, accepting your love in our imperfect state while also accepting the healing and power that your Spirit provides so we can grow more like you every day. #prayersformychildren

I just couldn’t do it.  I’m sorry for the huge gap of silence, but I couldn’t make myself start.  My process has always been to begin thinking/praying about the next prayer and what my specific focus for that scripture should be. How does God’s word specifically need to be expressed in our lives;  how can we seek God’s power and search for his wisdom? That has been no problem.

I got stuck at the second step.

The second step- that’s the one where I look though all my old photos and find one to match up with my prayer.  I just couldn’t do it.  Looking through those old photos when my house is empty and silent? Somehow, it just didn’t seem possible.

Isn’t that silly? My kids (mostly) come home every day, we still have this great family life, and I’m still really busy and happy.  But there has been this little part of my self that is mourning a change I was happy to make.

And you know, I think it’s ok.  Mamas, it’s ok to be sad when our kids go off to school, when they go to a teacher for advice instead of you, when they don’t let you fix their hair or ask you opinion about the outfit for the first time.  Of course we are proud of their maturity, and glad they have other trusted advisors, and we don’t want them to live for our approval. Of course.

But we are women, and so we have room in our hearts for more than one emotion at a time, and sadness is just fine.  We feel it, we acknowledge it, we let it go.  I sometimes have trouble with this- my brain wants to tell me how I feel so I get a little stuck, and I forget to feel what I feel.

Sisters, friends, thanks for understanding and grace. I’m so grateful for you.

Father, thank you.  For the days past and the days to come.  For the happiness and the sadness and the changes and the mourning and the gladness and the ability to feel. Grow me, Father, so that I can serve you though it all.