This passage I’ve been praying through is so rich in content that I completely missed a lot of the setting.  I have always pictured Jesus at a table, surrounded by his friends. But right in the middle of his teaching, immediately before he starts talking about the vine and branches, Jesus says, “Let’s go.”

That changes the whole scene- now instead of a quiet, in my mind cozy room we have a dark, rocky path. We have a group walking- full of questions, but actively going somewhere. It’s harder to hear what Jeus is saying, so everyone is crowding closer. Jesus knows his time is even shorter, so the urgency of what he is saying increases with each step.

This is no calmly delivered living room speech.  These are words of urgency and passion.  Jesus is trying, one last time, to convey his love. And he tells us why.

“I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!”

So put yourself in this picture.  Big, traditionally celebratory meal with Jesus and his crowd of friends. But then he starts talking about betrayal, and leaving.  The mood gets a little weird. Then he says it’s time to go, and he won’t be around or able to to talk too much. You are all walking a dark rocky path to his favorite prayer spot. His words are confusing; he sounds like he is running out of time.  There is a sense of….maybe it is finality?

Jesus is delivering the words he wants his friends to remember when the unspeakable horror of his death unfolds.  Maybe he senses a mood of unrest. He knows his followers are still confused. He knows far more chaos and confusion are coming, so he wants to arm them with the truth.

And to Jesus, the bottom line is that this is all really, really good news.  As he lays out the truth of his mission here on earth, his departure, the gift of the Holy Spirit and our dependence on God, he tries to help his followers understand that beyond the chaos, suffering, doubt, and tragedy of the coming hours lies joy.

Not just any joy, but joy that fills us to overflowing! What a beautiful, astounding gift.

Father, this is such an amazing gift of your love! To think that Jesus explained himself so thoroughly for the sole purpose of filling us with joy- my heart is overwhelmed. Many days and years, Father, are not joyful. But I pray that my children and the ones they will one day marry come to know the truth of your work throughout the ages, drawing us to you. I pray we will all abide in you, filled with your Spirit, and certain of your love. I pray that we would be filled with joy overflowing as we love you and love each other. #prayersformychildren #joyoverflowing

I have prayed “in Jesus’ name, amen” all my life.  If a prayer ended any other way, the teaching goes, God will not hear. Almost like a magic spell.

“If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it,” Jesus says.  Is there a more difficult verse in the Bible, at least emotionally? How many of us have asked for things “in the name of Jesus” just to get the big “NO” from above? If you are looking for the definitive exposition of this verse, this is not the post for you.  But I believe every word Jesus said, so how can I understand this a little better?

One thing I have come to understand is that the name of Jesus is like no other-or more accurately, the names of Jesus are like no other.  I have a complicated German name- it took research by a German linguist to discover that my name means “gentle one sent by God.” I was 21 when I learned this; maybe I would have been more gentle if I knew it at an earlier age, but I still want to live up to my name.

That’s not the way it works for Jesus. Jesus defines his name,  not the other way around.  We don’t look at the concept of “truth” and ask if Jesus really embodies that- we define truth by who Jesus is and what he does.  After all, he created everything we call “truth.”

We don’t ask if Jesus is loving enough to be called “Love.” Jesus redefined love in his creative work, his faithful presence throughout time, his earthly life, and then, astoundingly, in his death, burial and resurrection.

So praying in the name of Jesus- that’s big.  If we really pray in Jesus name, it changes what we pray.  And it changes our expectation from self-oriented to “thy will be done.”  In his name our prayers become loving, freeing, merciful and just. Even when we don’t get it perfectly right, in our attempts we become partners with God, as his church was created to be, through our prayers.

A quick caveat- I’m not there. If you are, that’s awesome! I plan to keep practicing my heartfelt yet imperfect praying for the rest of my life, holding onto my desire to pray every moment fully “in Jesus’ name” while knowing I fall short. Maybe you are like me, and we can thank God for his grace in hearing us anyway!

Father, there is power in your name, in the name of Jesus that we can only imagine.  I pray, Father, that my children will love you and will actively seek to know you and the power of your name. I pray that we will be changed by the name of Jesus so that we see with your eyes and our hearts are broken by what breaks your heart. I pray for the prayers of my children (and, as always, me)- that our prayers would grow more and more in your name so that we can be your partners in your work of love, truth, justice, freedom, mercy and grace in our world. #prayersformychildren

“Really Peter? You’ll lay down your life for me? Actually, you’ll betray me three times before morning.  Don’t let it get to you. Trust God- and trust me as well.  I’m making a way for us to be together forever.”

I’ve missed this my whole life. It takes nothing away from the beauty of this passage used so often at funerals, but an entire layer of depth is added, when you read past the chapter division.

This is an emotional time for Jesus, scriptures say. He knows Judas is in the middle of bargaining for his life, and he knows the turmoil he is going to have to endure. And Jesus knows his friends will run away, but he wants to make sure that they know they can come back.

How have I missed this? “Don’t let your hearts be troubled.” “Don’t let it throw you.” Jesus says this immediately following his prediction of Peter’s betrayal. His love overwhelms his sorrow, and he wants to make sure his friends hear this- I know you will betray me but I am making a way for us to be together forever anyway.  Trust me.

How precious were these words to the disciples later on, when their spirits were in danger of being crushed by their own cowardice and unfaithfulness? How much did these words add to their love for Jesus, and their understanding of his love for them?

Children, we betray Jesus too.  We forget him, we deny him, we fail to obey or trust him.   But, like Peter and Thomas, we have to keep coming back to him because- well, where else would we go? And he keeps welcoming us back, because he loves us. He understands us, and he loves us anyway.

Father, once again I am overwhelmed by your love for us.  You know we are weak, you know our faithlessness, and yet you love us anyway.  Thank you for this beautiful picture of a home prepared for us all, where your faithfulness conquers our failings, and your love overcomes our sin.  I pray that as these children I love would not be thrown by their own betrayal and sin, but would turn to you in trust and believe that your love endures. Father, we anticipate with joy and hope the time we will all be together forever in the home you are preparing. #prayersformychildren

Like a mom walking out the door and leaving her kids with last-minute instructions, or a teacher wrapping up a year long course, or even like a much loved professor delivering a commencement address.

This is the way I see Jesus as he speaks to and prays for his disciples for the last time before he walks the Gesthemane road.  He knows all the other words and events will come back to the disciples, but in the meantime don’t forget this core truth. Hold on to it through the wild ride that could make you forget all except the most basic thing I taught, he says.

“You can’t come with me, so stay here and love each other.”

Very, very simple words with deep layers of meaning. Love each other. Treat each other like I’ve treated you. Look for the ones who are pushed aside and love them, too. Just love, in the verb sense. In the real life way of dirty feet and hungry bellies and betrayers and thieves.

Father, I pray that my children and I would love like Jesus loved while he walked our earth, and like you have loved throughout eternity.  Empower us to love across all backgrounds, ethnicities, religions and genders- unconditionally, fiercely, inconveniently, forgivingly, faithfully, personally, enduringly. Sacrificially.  When we love like Jesus, everyone will know we are yours, Father- may this be the deep desire of our hearts. #prayersformychildren

The very last hours that Jesus spent with his friends draw me in over and over.  His words and actions seen from our perspective, knowing the betrayal and confusions to come, seem entirely incomprehensible to me. I originally intended to pray through the entire book of John this year but for many reasons I have decided to focus on chapters 13-17 leading up the arrest of Jesus. Maybe it seems we should have done this before Resurrection day, before Easter, but I feel compelled to re-examine this evening in the life of Christ while holding in mind the idea that we are living the anniversary weeks of the resurrected Christ walking the earth and explaining it all to his friends.

This evening begins as the group gathers for supper.  Before any words are said, everyone present receives a humble gift of service from our Lord- their stinky, dusty feet are washed.  Opting out is not an option. “If I don’t wash you, you can’t be part of what I am doing.”

On his way back to God, Jesus was hours away from his final sacrifice. John tells us that Jesus loved his own, and he loved them to the end. I believe in this moment, he wants to feel the closeness of actually touching those he loves in a cleansing act.  He knows the cleansing of his blood is the final fulfillment of the symbolic cleansing of foot washing; that the horrible hours he is shortly to endure will allow us to be completely clean so that we can live in the presence of our God.

Foot washing is the loving touch of our human Savior who is fortelling the loving sacrifice of our divine Savior.  And if we want to be a part of what he is doing, we have to accept his cleansing gift directly, personally from his hand.

Father, these hours that Jesus spent with the humans he loved as companions are deeply, richly significant.  Open our hearts and minds to hear these words of Jesus in a fresh and heartfelt way.  Today, I pray my children will accept the gift of cleansing from Christ’s own hand. I pray that my precious children will feel the power of love you have that is individual and unique to each one of them. Grant that they will meditate on your love so that it penetrates deep into their souls, freeing and empowering them to be who you created them to be. #prayersformychildren

We know we are in the anniversary week of the death of Christ, and there is something deeply meaningful about that.  Debate continues regarding the year (AD 30? Or 33?) and the exact day (Wednesday? Friday?) but we know that almost 2000 years ago this week on Sunday, Jesus entered Jerusalem seated on the colt of a donkey to the praise and adoration of throngs of Jews, as specifically prophecied 500 years before it happened.

Jesus’ entry was loud, joyful, triumphant! The people were shouting words that were true, and so very important that if the people were hushed the rocks would have cried out.

But the really weird thing is, the worshippers themselves didn’t understand the depth of their own words, or the significance of what they celebrated.  If they had, would the Pharisees have been able to turn the tide so quickly, within just a few days? Would there have been a crowd willing to cry out just the opposite- “crucify him!” in place of “Hosanna in the highest heaven!”?

No, the worshippers didn’t understand.  Nor did the disciples, who followed but remained blind to Jesus’ true purpose.

But you know what those guys did right? They kept showing up.  They stayed close to Jesus, they stuck around Jerusalem and each other, they stayed open to what Jesus said to do even when it went directly opposite to what they thought he was doing.  We know so many followers by name, but surely there were unnamed believers among the crowds who praised on Sunday then called for his death on a weekday then ate fish for breakfast with the risen Jesus.

Kids, Jesus does not depend on us to understand everything or behave perfectly. We are all foolish, and that is no surprise to our Heavenly Father. My prayer today, in this anniversary week of Jesus suffering sacrifice, is that we would keep showing up.

Father, your holiness is more beautiful in its love than anything we could ever have imagined outside your grace. This week reveals to us the unfathomable depth of your faithfulness, and my heart responds in love and gratitude.  I wonder at your ability to forgive the foolishness and faithlessness we your people have shown, and yet Jesus’ final words to his followers show that he continued to trust us with his work.  Father, today I pray for these children I love knowing you love them even more.  I pray that they will keep showing up in the company of believers, in the places where you are working, with hearts open to the Spirit of Truth. Thank you for this promise of a Friend who is always with us; may we continue in the work of Jesus through your power and presence.  #prayersformychildren

It is so easy to look at these old stories and scoff at the foolishness of the Israelites.  My Lent reading is taking me though Exodus, where God’s provision is so abundant- freedom from intolerable labor demands and a murderous dictator.  Water appearing miraculously, bread falling at their feet every morning and meat every evening.  And still, they cannot wait for a few days as Moses speaks to God.  They turn instead to the ways of the oppressors, worshipping a golden calf of their own creation, made from the bounty God provided as they escaped slavery. So tragically, painfully foolish.

But Lent is about self examination, repentance, a turning to Christ in gratitude. So this story of human foolishness, I have to admit– it’s my story too.  Do I count the gifts God provides, drawing on the undeniable evidence of his love and provision in times of doubt, in the times when he seems absent? Do I take what he generously provides and use it to create false idols in my life? Do I, like Aaron, make flimsy excuses instead of turning to God in repentance?

Why does God continue to put up with me? I don’t know why, but I know that he does.

Father, you are incomprehensible in your patience and faithfulness. You suffer our foolishness, you right our wrongs, you redeem our lives and free us from the burden and slavery of sin.  Grant that my children would come to understand the immensity of this gift of love so freely given.  I pray they- that we all- will know the truth of our need for you; that we would see our own sin clearly so that we can repent fully and understand the depth of the joy your forgiveness and restoration frees us to experience.

And Father, in this season of self examination I pray that you would show me how I can draw closer to you. I ask, Father, that your Spirit would transform me more into your image so that I can serve my family more fully as your servant.  #prayersformychildren #Lent2018

This morning I am preparing to begin Lent in a couple of days.  I have found the solemn season of study and sacrifice to be life giving for my spiritual path, a reminder that the beauty and overwhelming joy of salvation come at a cost gladly paid.

As I prayed the Lord’s Prayer this morning I thought that truly my greatest desire is that “Your will be done” through my children, my husband and me. Through us, in us- that we would be vessels of God’s loving action in the space we occupy. And then the scripture came in my reading…

What a beautiful promise! Return, rest, quiet, trust in God- this is where our salvation and strength lie. Hallelujah!

But in this passage, the people say “no.” They prefer worldly strength and seen power to the promises of God. May it never be that we make that foolish choice.

Father, I pray my children will remain in you, will rest in you, and will find your strength in quietness and trust.  I pray we would never be deceived by the world and it’s false sense of security and strength, but would return to you our whole lives so that your will would be done in us, through us and by us. Thank you, Father, for your gracious mercy and boundless love. #prayersformychildren

My one word for 2018…

Do you remember the old story about manna? It’s the “bread from heaven” the Israelites in the wilderness had to go collect every day.  Every. Single. Day. Except the Sabbath day, of course.

I would imagine collecting manna was kind of a pain.  It’s described as “fine flaky something, fine as frost on the ground.” It must have taken some time and effort to collect enough to satisfy, don’t you think? And I’m guessing there were other things they would rather be doing than tediously picking up little flakes off the ground.

But look at it this way-  they were gathering something they did not plant or tend, something they paid nothing to own, something that miraculously appeared six days a week.

They were gathering what God provided.

I think this is a perfect picture of the way God works in our lives; human effort infinitely amplified by grace.  I have learned through study and experience that God has invited us to participate in his story, in our stories.  We don’t get to be observers of what God is doing, we get to be agents.  But God provides so much more than our efforts alone would yield.

Like manna.

Gathering what God provides.

So yes, it takes discipline. And this year,  that’s my focus.  I want to faithfully, day by day, gather what God is providing. I trust that my inadequacies, insufficiencies, all-a-round weaknesses will be met by God’s grace and strength so that I become what he created me to be, fully participating on the story he is writing.

Father, thank you for new beginnings and ancient words. Thank you for meeting our feeble efforts with your magnificent power and might, allowing us to accomplish your will in spite of our inadequacies.  I pray, Father, that I would be faithful in gathering what you have provided so that I can become the person you created me to be. #prayersformychildren #oneword #2018

My last prayer of the year is that you, my precious, loved ones, will know joy in your lives.  This season we have celebrated all month- it’s all about joy, isn’t it? The joy of friendship and family, of giving and receiving, of the mystery being revealed and the shocking surprise of God in the body of an infant wrapped tightly and laid in an animal’s feeding trough.

Joy to the world! The LORD is come!

But joy comes at a price, my friends. Happiness, not so much.  There is nothing wrong with happiness, but it is fleeting compared with joy. Like the difference between a gift a stranger chose- always fun but not very significant- compared with the gift of a close friend, which speaks of love invested over time.

And there it is.  Joy costs time and effort. It grows in us when we pursue, when we love, when we pay attention. God spent centuries preparing us for the gift of his son. But the joy of that gift isn’t necessarily apparent at first glance or first telling. In fact, the big warning that comes with the gift is “do not fear!”

So this is my prayer for you (and, of course, me). Do not fear the very things that will bring you joy.  Have the fortitude of heart to invest your time in knowing God through scripture, prayer, fasting, godly friendships.  Seek God with your whole heart.  Live your life led by his Spirit, and the fruit growing in you will be, among many others, joy.

Father, you always go first.  Anything you ask of us, you have already given.  Thank you for this beautiful story that shows your commitment to us, your love for us.  I pray we would commit to you, that we would love you with our whole hearts.  I pray that we would seek you through the disciplines that allow your Spirit to gain strength and power in our lives- time in your word and with your Word, meditation and solitude, fasting and giving.  I pray, Father, that joy would grow in us as we invest our time and effort into knowing you. #prayersformychildren #advent2017